dazed and confused.

Y is love sooo hard? one minute ur on cloud 90 then next ur wondering if he/she is the "one". I am goin through relationship problems with a gurl that i am totally in love with. Not to get too personal but love make u do crazy shyt for real. I am experiencing it firsthand. I have NEVER felt this way about any gurl before. I know i am n love with her. I realize that sometimes to come together it is good to be apart. It sux but i have learned a lot about myself and our relationship.


Now i know what jordin sparks and chris brown meant with the song "no Air"; it is hard to fxn normally without this gurl in my life. That is real sad cuz i should stand on my own two. I depended so much from her with regards to happiness and peace that it drew energy from the relationship; the spark needed for her to reciprocate emotional connection back. I am using myself as an example because i know many go thru these things. two ppl don't make a whole it is that two ppl make a third(1+1=3) the third being the relationship. Relationships require two individuals that are dependent only of themselves to come together and build a relationship as a unit. Both need not be needy of the other cuz that causing strife and loss of vitality in the relationship. U don't put expectations in humans they will only let u down put them in the Creator. As humans we must understand that we all have issues and we make mistakes but if u want to be with someone u take their flaws and virtues together;itz a package deal. Being this is Independence Day there is a reason to be free for urself; to make a stand to be whole by urself.

Love hurts like a muther but at least i know i can feel. I dont know the outcome of my situation ..yeah i wanna be with her forever she is my first real love will we?? i don't know. I just know that i have learned a lot in this process and it has made me more mature. "I aint mad baby it made me stronger made me get my paper longer". So for those out there that are lovesick there is a cure : learn from the relationship and want went wrong from all angles (u ,him/her,etc.) and REALLY make a change for the better not so much for u to be with ur love again(hopefully) but to become a better person whether it is with him/her or someone else.....hotep(peace)

much better off (the one)

In this world we met all types of ppl. Some think everything happens for a reason and some are here in a person's life for a season. Me.? well i do believe things happen for whatever reason:chance or fate. Love is a funny thing however. My parents married had babies(me and my brother)and then got divorced soon after. Does it mean that they were the one for each other. I guess at that moment. I don't know if I believe in a ONE. Yeah u can love someone a whole lot and neva be together forever(forever ever??). I have found someone i can share my life with and be happy(she just don't know it yet) but does that make her the one? The "one" is not necessarily who u marry i don't think. There are many who are attuned with ur feelings and understand u but u don't really have to marry them and all that. In my opinion the "one" is who u make it to be and destiny and ur efforts will make it come to fruition. "ur love is ummm ummm goood goood ummm ummm goood for meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! much better off".... letting things happen don't worry if he/she is the one.

No more Mr. Nice Guy part 1

"Nice guys finish last with their special set of rules". Jay-Z poignantly conveyed in his rhymes that nice guys always seem to the most undesirable. I am currently reading this book"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover. I have only read a few chapter(thus the part 1 of this blog) but I have already begun introspecting my life as a whole and visualizing the contents of the book as it relates to me(in lamens terms: I'm feelin it so far!!).

Now let me somewhat define what Dr. Glover means by a nice guy. A nice guy is one who always wants to please others in spite of himself. This is a wonderful altruistic trait but one cannot love others if he doesn't love himself. A lot of women nowadays want a lil drama in there lives; so action that negates what the nice guy offers in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with being nice but u gotta draw limits. U cant let ppl take u for granted or abuse ur kindness. In reality the nice guy is really not so nice he appears to be but he got hella problems.

Yes ladies I am one of the nice guys. I have always been a good guy with a pinch of thug in me but hey.....I don't treat women wrong and i have been raised to be respectful. I got problems which are currently under construction;he who is without sin throw the first stone ya dig. For a long time I couldn't find a gurl that would like me for being nice but it seemed when i was a lil rough around the edges gurls flock. I aint a playa and i don't mess around a lot either but i don't understand women that like to be disrespected and treated like object. Nice guys are deemed as not having confidence and not able to "man up". This is a gross misconception but one all to real in the minds of women. All women deserve to be treated like the queens they are and the King(me) can provide. I know women want to be cherished and secure but does a bad boy have to be the one who can do dat for u??? The nice guy syndrome is an interesting concept that is still in me thus the reason for me reading the book. I am trying to get what i want and need in life by not being so "nice".

Part two is coming up once i finish this book but feel free to discuss what i said above.

madoff to jail...dont drop the soap

hello all i am sure yall have heard about Bernie Madoff's sentencing: 150 yrs in prison. Let me first start off by saying DAMNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! Dat is a helluva long time esp. since he is already 71 yrs of age. I am curious to know how long of the sentence he actually must serve. If it is 25 before parole y give him so much time. I think the judges should consider the age of the convict in addition to the crime. i mean really sun will probly be dead in 10 yrs so whas the pt?


Bernie Madoff was a financial manager that swindled millions of dollars from investors for his own gain; an estimated 65 billion dollars. Dude got a 7 million dollar APT(wtf!!??) where his wife currently lives. She claims she was unaware of the scandal but i don't wanna hear dat. When ur hubby says "hey babe let us buy this 2.2 million dollar boat..." u kinda gotta be like " uhh where u gettin all this cheese from?". Yeah he on Wall St. but they don't make bank like dat(do they??). The court has ordered to strip him of damn near all of his assets plus he still has to pay for victim claims against him. Ohh by the way his own sons turned him in if i recall. Dang fam where the love at?

Amidst this "recession" we are currently in it is a shame that we have hooligans and charlatans hustling our hard earned money away for personal gain. That is why i believe there should be no homeless ppl in Amerikkka it is too much money here. Well you reap what u sow so u better not drop the soap Madoff.

first impression means a lot but dont judge a book by itz cover either...(the realm of appearances)

whaddup my fellow citizens dis ya boi back for another intriguing round for discussion. Let's rap back appearances. Appearances made of a lot of things from jewelry to hairstyles, tattoos to the clothes on ur back(and other body parts lol). There are tons of trendsetters and followers of styles for that matter. So who sets the norm for proper appearance. Of course this is predicated on the situation i mean u don't wanna go to an interview with a Jordan jumpsuit on right?

I have always been against judging someone based on their appearance. I know it is probly a innate defense mechanism in humans. If you see a person cloaked out with something bulging in his pants walkin in the bank he might not be makin a deposit(get ur mind out the gutter lol-i was there too for a sec.). But really i kinda feel like a lot of people are misjudged by how they look. Styles are styles and to me as long as it is appropriate and fits the scenario then whas the deal.

I am tatted up aight and hell yeah i want more but most of my tatts are in areas where they are hardly seen. No doubt if u look hard enuff they are still visible but it is harder since i am dark-skinned. Me and the fam were having a debate about tattoos and their relevance in our world. My dad seems to think that there are limits to how many and wear they should be placed. I aint tryin to be on the face tatted but shyt im thinkn of gettin one on my back and my chest. My dad says they are a fad and they will fade i respectfully disagree. Unlike clothing or hairstyles i just think tatts are more artistic in a sense(maybe cuz they are pictorial i guess). Art neva fades it just transforms.

Mida i say do u ...but also do understand that there are social norms in place that somewhat stymies expression. There may be subtle if not blatant consequences to ur actions so be prepared. Don't assume and judge do some prying into the person beforehand. I know this may not be feasible for everyone but hey give ppl a chance in life. I am all about individual expression and conveying how u feel openly as long as u do it with class. Maybe i am just stubborn and i hate to conform to norms but who sets the rules anyway?

the real "king"

As many have already heard...the king of pop is deceased. Michael Jackson has died from cardiac arrest at his home in Cali. Let us dissect Mr Jackson for a moment. He is arguably the most iconic figure ever known a son of a steelwrker Michael from day one been in the spotlight. I remember the Jackson 5 cartoons that used to come on sat. mornings. Awesome! Of course you know Janet Jackson, his sister that is highly talented but really all his siblings in many variations have been talented. Michael's biggest success was from the album Thriller. Crazy video at that time and an even more wonderful album. I reminsnce from back in the dayz with "I'm Bad" and "Man in the Mirror"(ohh yeahh!!!!!). He was simply amazing.

Over the years Michael Jackson stopped making songs and went AWOL in a sense. He married a white gurl(nuthin wrong wit dat but it was the other "king"'s daughter) then wit the baby dangling over the balcony incident and all the molestation allegations it was pandemonium. Michael was an eccentric character to say the least. He was just different and aint nuthin wrong with that. I was more concerned with his health. Dude looked emaciated like Skeletor(He-Man reference)!!!!! I don't know what was goin on and maybe he didn't care but i was shocked when he bleached his skin(he didn't have a skin disorder i don't believe dat) and he was gettin frail by the moment. Personally i think he needed a sistah in his life to change him but das my opinion.

All in all Michael Jackson was the best and will always be remembered for the good and the bad..."whose bad.." U are Micheal u were.

"I DO"....(wanna spend my life savings for one day)

"Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage". What "ole blue eyes"(Frank Sinatra for those who don't know) should've added said was that weddings make ur pockets leaner than a bulimic on crack!! Many people fall in love and get married and wanna have a beautiful wedding. Some dream of white doves and white princess dresses and tiaras etc. all their lives. I am sure that would be wonderful. There is a little issue though be ready to pull out ur checkbooks and/or go into debt.

The wedding industry is big bizness these dayz. From David's Bridal to Bridezilla (yeah i watch it so what..) there are tons of ideas,websites(offbeat bride is really cool!) to choose if you wanna go that route. No I am not married but it would be nice to be with someone forever and to cherish and raise a family. Unfortunately I am not Bill Gates and I have yet to win the lottery so financially speaking weddings scare me a lil.

I was a groomsman for my mans last yr in his wedding. It was lovely kid. There was a freakin quartet which was awesome. The reception was lovely(they had an open bar all nite..."sippin on some sizzzurrppp" lol). I don't know how much they paid but I estimate around 25k. They got paper but right now they are staying in an apt(?). Don't get me wrong love is love but in my opinion i wanna house 1st then we can see whassup with a wedding. I am sure it is in the near future and i am not knockin their choices. U do want u do but ME nah das a lot of $ for a day and their is no tangible returns. If you have the money and you're not gonna go into debt that maybe itz cool but still even then pay bills, buy a house, plan a lavish trip. I know most ppl don't have that kinda dough and their parents pay for it. I heard about one couple in TN that spend buukuu money on their wedding(their parents did) now they are divorced and their parents went broke due to the expenditures of the lavish ceremony. I aint sayin u should go think about a possibility of it not working out but das real sad.

It is up to the individual(s) to decide what their priorities are and figure out the best course of action. I just want ppl to understand you don't need to spend "X" amount of dollars to be happy. Go off to the beach just u and him or plan a real small wedding. Simplicity is sometimes the best.